My Denver Neighborhood Dilemma

April 29, 2011

Mama Monroe

As I’m sure you’ve all read, I hate my neighbors. Therefore, I’ve decided to move. See you later suckers!

Alright, I’m being dramatic. I am looking to move but I guess I can’t blame it ALL on my abhorrent duplex-mates. The hubs and I, once again, have decided to throw our hats into the real estate ring and see if we can’t finally man up and buy something. We ain’t getting any younger kids! And between brewing, wine making, 3 cats, 2 snakes, a couple of cars, a mutual shoe fetish and the hubs’ countless hobbies involving toys, books, comics, skateboards, bikes and useless plastic objects – we’re just plain out of room.

Which brings me to my neighborhood dilemma…

I love love LOVE where I live – specifically the east side of D-Town, more specifically Congress Park. But I can’t afford to buy here. WHO CAN? (Shut up. I don’t want to hear if YOU actually can.)

Admittedly, my heart is set on staying on the East side – Mayfair, Park Hill or City Park North all seem acceptable. We’ve looked at a few possibilities. But have yet to find ‘the one’. THE ONE where I can see myself staying for a while; and will love it; and will give us the space we want; and where I won’t mind that I’m doubling my expenses and be willing to forego frequent pricey dinners out because now I have a house payment, etc.

This weekend we’re expanding our horizons and venturing over to the dark west side. As we all know, the Highlands is where it’s at these days. But who I am kidding – I can’t afford it over there either – unless I buy a super tiny house. Which will not do! So, maybe Sunnyside, Chaffee or Berkeley. Either way, the choices in our price range are limited.

SO – dare I say it… we’ve added Wheat Ridge to the mix.

GASP. THE HORROR! SAY WHAT? Can I really do it? Move to the suburbs? Leave my beloved East Colfax? Cross the proverbial point of no return (aka: Sheridan Blvd.)?????

Help me out here. Tell me it’s ok. That I will survive. That the square footage and big yard trade-off will be worth it. (We could build a chicken coop!)

Or… pull me back off the ledge of impending suburbia. Shake me hard, slap me and scream ‘FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WOMAN… DON’T DO IT!’

Either way. I’m asking for your input.

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About Mama Monroe

I spend my days herding cats in the shadow of Downtown Denver. I love cooking and telling 'your mom' jokes. Find me at happy hour on Colfax.

View all posts by Mama Monroe


  1. The Hubs Says:

    Hey! I have some plastic objects that aren’t useless. I think anyway… If I could find them…

  2. Turkey Sandwich Says:

    how many square feet do you need for all of your shit? how many bedrooms/bathrooms?

  3. Mama Monroe Says:

    Turkey Sandwich… We need at least 1200 sq ft I think — minimum 3 beds + 1 bath if not more. Garage or basement or both. Is that too much to ask?

  4. Ginger Says:

    WHEAT RIDGE?! Don’t be crazy, little lady. I know just as well as you do that having the ability to WALK to fun bars/coffee shops/restaurants in your hood is high on the ole wish list. Unless, of course, you’re ready to start staying in more often. Suburbs = staying in.

    I’m not a fan, but understand the higher expense being close to the city. Have you looked in Baker at all? South Broadway is really stinkin’ cool these days.

  5. Mama Monroe Says:

    G – Have looked at Baker. Can’t really afford much over there either unless I want a tiny little place like the one I already rent. I found an adorable little house in Wheat Ridge this past weekend. Brick. Beautiful. Completely redone. 5 miles to Star Bar. Now… that doesn’t sound TOO bad does it??? Eeeeek. Hold me. I’m scared.

  6. Hezness Says:

    Hello, its me, Miss West Side…

    YES! WEST SIDE! What’s the status on that house you guys liked? What about Edgewater? I think that may be the new up and coming, the 26th and Sheridan area is blowin’ up. And, Sloans Bar & Grill has the best fried pickles, just sayin’.

    I honestly don’t really consider WR the burbs, it’s like a few miles from my place, big whoop. And it’s older, it has big trees, it has character. If you don’t have to get on a major highway to get to downtown, that’s a winner.

  7. D-Hause Says:

    I am a Edgewater Resident and can’t recommend it enough! We need more cool folks..come check it out!

  8. Mama Monroe Says:

    Sigh sigh SIGH!

  9. Katie Says:

    Snakes? You have SNAKES?
    I was unable to read past that line, sorry.

  10. Tina Says:

    I hope I am not too late. I read about your dilemma as I was leaving town and should have replied sooner. I am screaming…’FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WOMAN… DON’T DO IT!’ It is not ok and you will not survive over there. I have lived in the hood just north of City Park for the last 7 years and there are plenty of houses for you, I am certain! Keep looking… :) Betty? Where are you? You must convince her our hood is the best hood- hurry! (But maybe don’t take her to Denver’s Friendliest Bar yet…wait until after she is committed…)

  11. Mama Monroe Says:

    Tina… you’re hilarious. Let’s drink some wine together.

  12. Mama Monroe Says:

    UPDATE. I bought a house in Park Hill.East SIIIIIDE. I’m relieved. And, I love my *new* neighborhood. See ya on Colfax bitchez.

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